Chicken Schnitzel-izzle

Got chicken? Got old bread? Got lemons? You’re halfway to heaven! Well, at least half way to a decent, quick delicious meal.

This is the recipe with no numbers.

Take some chicken breasts. Pound them flat. Take some flour, put it in a dish. Take some egg, add a little bit of water, mix with egg. Put in separate dish. Take bread (if it’s old just grind it up, if it’s not old, toast it for a while and then grind it up). If you like spicy stuff, put some crushed red pepper in the grinder, or add cayenne after you grind, but DON’T grind the red pepper then put your head in to smell it. Your face will sting for an hour. I know.. Put in another dish. Add salt and pepper and anything else you feel like.

Cut up some pieces of lemon for later.

Take the chicken breasts, dredge in flour, then egg mixture, then breadcrumbs.

Heat up olive oil (or butter or any other fat you want) pretty hot, but not smoking, in a saute pan. Lay chicken flat in the pan when it’s good and hot.

Fry for a few minutes on one side, then the other side. Adjust temperature to keep it just below the smoke point. This gets harder as more and more breadcrumbs fall off and start to burn. Just hang in there, you’re almost done.

Transfer to serving dish, add salt right when it comes out of the oil.

Keep the cooked pieces in a medium warm oven until all pieces are done.

Serve to a small ravenous crowd.

Let them squeeze lemon on their own (and make sure you cover your eyes, those suckers spritz hard.)

Devour.

Don't be shellfish...